Women Deserve Shame-free, Outrageously Enjoyable Orgasms. Let’s Make that Happen!

Year after year, women are becoming more comfortable with their sexuality and asking for what they want in the bedroom, but there’s still a significant gap in orgasms reported by heterosexual men and women across the board.

One study says “heterosexual men were most likely to say they usually-always orgasmed when sexually intimate (95%), followed by gay men (89%), bisexual men (88%), lesbian women (86%), bisexual women (66%), and heterosexual women (65%) (Frederick et al., 2018). Let’s take a closer look at this information.

Of all women, lesbian women reported that they experience orgasms more often than bisexual and heterosexual women when sexually intimate. Only about two-thirds of heterosexual women report that they usually have orgasms when having sex. Shocking, right? So why is there a 30% gap between heterosexual men and women?

Let’s start with the fact that sexual pleasure is still somewhat of a taboo topic. It’s rarely discussed in sexual education, and when it comes to women, often not discussed at all. We’ve been taught that it’s normal for a man to want and enjoy frequent sex, whereas many women are shamed and stigmatized for sharing those same desires. It’s true, the world is becoming a more sex-positive place, but many women still feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about their sexual desires and pleasure with a partner. Lack of communication can lead to a variety of outcomes such as faking or pretending to orgasm (please stop doing this!), having mediocre sex, or feeling sexually inhibited—meaning, there’s a low desire for sexual experiences or a lack of comfort during those experiences. These outcomes are not only harmful to your pleasure and satisfaction but they’re hindering you from living your best sex life. Talking about sex and pleasure with a partner doesn’t just strengthen your relationship but it can lead to sexual liberation, overall sexual satisfaction and, are you ready? … MORE ORGASMS!

Studies show that engaging in a variety of sexual behaviors during intimate encounters contribute to the experience of orgasms. It’s also important to note that not all orgasms are the same. Nearly 1 out of 5 (18%) women said that intercourse alone is sufficient for an orgasm, about 2 out of 5 (36%) women said they needed clitoral stimulation for an orgasm, and another 2 out of 5 (36%) women said that clitoral stimulation is not essential, however, their orgasms feel better if the clitoris is stimulated during intercourse.

To stimulate or Not to Stimulate. That’s the question.

The takeaway here is that women’s sexual arousal preferences vary. The desire for genital touching (i.e., clitoral stimulation, vaginal fingering, oral sex) and the duration of these activities, varies also. Additional factors that can impact someone’s ability to experience an orgasm include stress, feeling depressed, and taking certain medications, amongst others. Typically, women take more time to reach full arousal compared to their male partners, which can also be a factor.

How Do We Close the Gap?

In order to close the orgasm gap, sexual communication needs to happen. Partners can encourage this communication by playing sexual games, talking about sexual fantasies, and/or discussing sexual activities that have been pleasurable in the past. If you’re a woman who needs more stimulation during sex, consider adding a toy into the mix. If you need tips on how to build intimacy with a partner, check out our 7 step guide to next-level physical intimacy. Interested in spicing things up a bit? Dive into the world of kink!

The bottom line is—your sexual satisfaction is just as important, and just as deserved, as your partner’s. The goal isn’t always achieving orgasm, it’s having fun and being present in the experience. Sex is about being able to be authentic, free, relaxed, and comfortable. Enjoy the process, and you will find the goal. Let your pleasure be your measure.

Original Material provided from The Buzz by Pure Romance.

The Buzz by PR


An article courtesy of buzz.pureromance.com

Is it the thought of being stimulated and aroused by a variety of activities like kissing, sucking, licking? Or do you think about penetration and orgasms?

Regardless of what you think about first, did you know that all of these types of activities are phases of the sexual response cycle? Our sexual response cycle is the progression of physical and emotional changes that happens when we are sexually aroused and engaged in activities that are sexually stimulating. The sexual response cycle, developed by Masters and Johnson, is a four-phase model to describe these changes during sexual stimulation.

Sexual stimulation often begins with desire, or interest in sexual activity. A person’s desire can be heightened by our hormones, words and gestures by our partners, and even by our senses. Yes, you guessed it, this includes the things we see, smell, hear, touch, or taste. According to the sexual response model, sexual desire is not required, but it can definitely add to the experience.


Arousal (or excitement) – The first phase in which physical or mental activities lead to sexual arousal. Activities in this phase can include but are not limited to kissing, touching, oral and anal play. In this phase, the heart rate increases, genitalia become hardened or erect (nipples, clitoris, penis), and vaginal walls begin to lubricate.

Plateau – In this phase, sexual arousal increases as well as sexual pleasure. Signs of this phase include rapid heart rate and a variation of shorter breaths or deep, long breaths. In this phase, a penis may release fluid (pre-ejaculatory or pre-cum) and the clitoris may become extremely sensitive.

Orgasm – This phase is the end of the plateau phase and often symbolized by quick muscle contractions or spasms that are involuntary. This phase is commonly associated with ejaculation (cum) from a penis. The orgasmic phase is also associated with increased vaginal lubrication. The sensation is described as intense sexual pleasure, however each orgasm may vary in the ways in which it is achieved (or experienced).

Resolution – In this phase, the body recovers sexual stimulation. The muscles begin to relax, blood pressure goes down, heart rate is restored, and breathing returns to its typical pattern. This phase is also the time the body needs before starting the cycle all over again. This period of time, also called the refractory period, can be shorter for women (or persons with a vagina) than for men (or persons with a penis).

Okay, so based on this information, here are some things to consider:
Many of us have heard several ideas about how sex should go, whether is the baseball analogy of “first base, second base, third base, homerun” or this idea that sex follow a script of foreplay then sex, then orgasm. Consider rethinking the idea that sexual experiences end with experiencing an orgasm. This way of thinking can limit sexual pleasure, especially because not all sexual activities – pleasurable, sexual experiences – will lead to an orgasmic experience.

According to the sexual response cycle, excitement and resolution are the longest phases, lasting minutes to hours. Orgasm is the shortest, lasting only a few seconds. This drives home the point that sexual stimulation during the arousal/excitement phase is actually one of the more important (and longest) phases of the cycle. Consider taking your time to enjoy the experiences and activities that are occurring. This can be a time of sexual exploration and liberation, a time to spice things up, or simply to slow things down. Don’t rush through it, enjoy it!

Lastly, keep in mind that women (or persons with genitalia including a vagina and clitoris) can experience multiple orgasms with little to no “down” time. Sexual stimulation can start over quickly, however, this is not a one-size-fits-all idea. Sometimes further stimulation does not lead to excitement, and in this instance, intimacy or rest may be the next best option.

If you would like to learn more about orgasms, take a look at these articles, Orgasm Gap and Outrageous Orgasm. Need a sexual liberating playlist?

Apples and Orgasms

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what can an orgasm do! By now, we all know the “Big O” feels good, but did you know it’s good for you, too? The benefits of an orgasm go far beyond pleasure. In fact, orgasms have an array of important health benefits for your mind, body, and beyond! As if you needed another excuse to have an orgasm, right?

1 – Reduces Stress: In her book, “The Orgasms Answer Guide,” sexuality educator, counselor, and researcher Dr. Beverly Whipple explains that orgasms happen when the hormone oxytocin is released from nerve cells in the hypothalamus. The chemical oxytocin that is released into the bloodstream stimulates feelings of warmth and relaxation. Although you might not have known the science behind it, we’re willing to bet you’ve experienced this too! In fact, a study done by clinical psychologist and sex therapist Carol Rinkleib Ellison found that 39% of women between the ages of 23 and 90 who masturbate claimed they did so in order to relax. So…sit back, Big O, and relax!

2 – A Fountain of Youth: The post-sex glow is no myth! Orgasms raise the levels of estrogen in your body which prevents the decrease of collagen, which, you guessed it, helps maintain your skins youthful appearance! Studies show that having sex three times a week with your partner can make you look 10 years younger!

3 – Pain Relief: Believe or not! An orgasm can help reduce your pain levels. Now that’s a new one! Remember that chemical oxytocin we mentioned earlier that helps relieve stress? That’s not the only thing this magical hormone does! Oxytocin, along with other endorphins that are released when you orgasm, are linked to relieving all kinds of pain. In her research, Dr. Whipple found when women masturbated to orgasm, their pain tolerance increased from almost 75% to over 105%!

Pick Your Pleasure by Pure Romance

You want a new sex toy. Something different. Something smart and sexy. Lucky for you, we have the technology. So, skip the web search (#aintnobodygottimeforthat) and let’s talk tech!


Some like it hot and we totally get why. Warmth is a key sensory element in arousal and sex! Just as the name suggests, Caleo warming technology is embedded inside our luxury Euforia toys (like V39 or C80!) and heats to a tantalizing 104°F/40°C in minutes, so it’s perfect for temperature play sexcapades in and out of the bedroom. Sensual vibrations + body melting warmth? Sign us up!


Our bodies are mostly water, so what if a toy factored that in? Meet Hydrathrill. Vibrating at an ultra-penetrating low frequency that travels best through liquid, Hydrathrill technology sends intense vibrations through every inch of your body, helping you experience deeper, longer-lasting orgasms. Find this must-have tech in clitoral toys (Make Waves and Private Beach) or double the fun with the Shore Thing dual-action or Vitamin Sea c-ring vibes.

Touch Sensor 

A swipe right should lead to something mind-blowing—and with Touch Sensor technology, it does. Toys with this exclusive tech use contact-responsive sensors to vibrate when you touch them. Plus, you can customize the vibration intensity of each pulsing pattern with just a swipe of your finger!* Get In Touch with your partner or try out a wand or dual-action vibe. And if you’re feeling adventurous, check out the Secret Touch anal vibrator!

So, there you have it, three types of tech to choose from! (Or don’t choose—we love all three, too!) Each toy tech adds a little something special to solo and partner play, so no matter which one you add to cart, you’re in for a treat.

*The Get In Touch c-ring does not include the additional vibration intensity setting.

Two Thoroughfares Named After Motown Great David Ruffin — Black America Web

David Ruffin was the lead singer on The Temptations hits “My Girl,” “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” and “Wish It Would Rain” This year, 2019, marked the ceremonies to rename two thoroughfares after Motown great David Ruffin. The first one took place on June 13th in Detroit when Parkside Street – on which Ruffin lived –…

via Two Thoroughfares Named After Motown Great David Ruffin — Black America Web

Mammograms Matter

This is the face of a woman who started having mammograms when she was 40 years old and the standard was 50 years old. I was so glad that I did, at first. Then I would have to come every 6 months. I felt like I was constantly coming because of the “density” of my breast, the 3D imager always found something.

Well, at the time that I took this picture, it had been 5 years since my last imaging and that is inexcusable.  So now we are back to annual visits and I’m so happy to report that I am another year free.  While I don’t expect any new lumps or masses, I’m more than happy to hear that nothing was found and I don’t have to come back in 6 months.  I’ll get my next imaging on November 26, 2019.  If you did not get a mammogram during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it’s not too late.  Early detection is paramount to living.

Join me this year and schedule your mammogram if you haven’t had one in 2019.  You may thank me, but your friends and family will definitely thank you for taking such good care of yourself.

See you at the lab!!

GOT Final Season – Episode 3


For those that have not watched last night’s episode, there are spoilers so if you don’t want to know what happens, please come back after you’ve watch GOT season 8 episode 3.

FIRST – My Take-aways from the Battle of Winterfell.

1. Everything that happened has been foretold. It all makes sense.

2. While many people were disappointed, the episode was EPIC!

3. Now the battle to win the throne begins. Remember, this is Games of Thrones, not Games of Epic Battles. They had to overcome the white walkers to earn the throne.

4. Cersei still sits on the iron throne and she’s a mad queen by anyone’s logic.

5. While this is hilarious, it must be updated and we need to discuss. The Red Queen is a hero. WTH!?!

6. Will the North remember and where do Daenyrus and Sansa stand now? They have an unfinished conversation.

7. What about Jon and Daenyrus? She saved him when he was surrounded proving her love and loyalty? Or does it? Did she save him because she needs him? That would be practical. Would she really give up the throne? It’s all she’s worked for her entire life.

8. Whose left that is completely loyal to Daenyrus? The Mormont lineage died in Ep. 3. But as an aside, can I say that they went out in Grand style. They are true warriors I’d always want them on my team.

9. Who will stay in the North? Who will continue for the Great Battle? How many people are left to fight? And can we discuss Samwell always lives to fight another day? Stop underestimating the underdog. Are there enough people to fight this battle for the throne?

10. Who is going to kill Cersei? Is it Jamie? Arya? Tyrion? Sansa? All of them?

There is a Hollywood Reporter article confirming who died in this episode. You have to read it.

I can’t wait for this wee’s predictions and discussions. That’s all for now!